it had been raining for almost a day now. she hadn't smiled for several days and for a week now she had been single. oh how she dreaded this period. she had never really liked dating, she had never wanted to be anyones woman come to think of it. she was just afraid of being alone. yes she knew that she needed someone and the pain of that knowledge burnt just as badly as the tears on her cheeks. she had always know that it just wouldn't last but still it had come as a shock when he left. she didn't show it out. there was far too much pride in her for that. She never said that her hart was broken, but that could have been because it was the truth. yes it wasn't her hart that brought on the tears. When he said that the time had come to end their relationship she took it just as she'd take the news about somebody buying the pair of shoes she was planning to buy. She made no drama, didn't look shocked. all she said was that she was surprised that it was him who ended it. And then it was his time to hide his shock.
yes, they hadn't meant much to one another. Just two people trying to make it work to have someone to prove that they had lived when they're finally gone.
she was standing by the window looking out into the rain that was pouring just like the tears from her face. what was the point of it all. she wasn't really hurt nor did she feel sad. but then... why was she crying. at that thought she dried her face with her sleeve, put down the half empty class of wine and walked away.
* * *
There he was. She had finally gone out with her girlfriends like any normal single girl but she hadn't counted seeing him. what was up with that. it's not like this was the only club in town. why of all the places was she meant to see him here and now. she had planned a wild night and now decided that nothing, even him, would stand in her way. So she drank and she danced just like he wasn't there. but she couldn't help her eyes from looking his way from time to time. she had always enjoyed men watching her and it meant the world to her to see him looking at her as well. yes, she needed the attention.
but he was surrounded. there were good looking girls all around him. there had always been. just as she was beautiful, he was handsome and financially secured. he's parents were in high society and had been able to give him a good upbringing and education. she had been a part of his rebellion against them. she had always know that. his parents had never liked her. they didn't see her as to be good enough for their son. they had been civilized and polite to her but mostly they tried to act as if she weren't a part of his life. a part of their life.
she had never minded being used by him to annoy his mum and dad, but she hadn't been annoying enough so he had to go around and have a few affairs. she hadn't minded that either. forgave him each time. she had reasoned her way out of his cheating. he was with her with a purpose. so was she. her life with him was convenient. she had no cares. there was always someone next to her, with her. someone to go to places with and someone to be shown out with. and those women who he had slept with meant nothing to her. they were just names and faces. good looking bodies and no personalities. they hadn't meant anything to him either or he would have left her for them. so she saw no reason to drama or stress.
he had always thought that the reason she kept forgiving him was that she just couldn't live without him and that made him feel good about himself. in a way it was true. she had gotten used to her lifestyle. If he had thought more about the reasons why she didn't leave him he would have seen that she never even made a scene and that a loving woman would have. And that would have brought him face to face with the truth.
the party was going nowhere. it was already pass three but she still wasn't having fun. more like pretending to have fun. finally her eyes met his. for the first time there was fire in them. a flame that burnt his eyes.
* * *
I never said I can write. That doesn't mean I shouldn't write...

Jätkub.! To be continued.!